Spartan Engineers,
It took me a long time to figure out what to say first...so much has happened in the last 8 days that it makes the past 12 weeks....an already surreal time...even more devastating.
It is super important to me to first say I write these words not from the lens as an Assistant Dean in the College of Engineering...even though that is what my role is professionally. I'm not talking as a representative of any unit in the college or at the university or any organization that supports/affiliates with the college or the university...although the people and groups I work and partner with have always demonstrated a genuine belief in the pursuit of equity and inclusion in education and the direct impact that has on the diversity in thought, design, leadership and connectivity in industry, in academia, in service to the world, in government, in politics and our interpersonal relationships...so I'm confident they wouldn't be surprised by how I feel. I had to say it though...these days, anyone can twist anything said to fit any narrative, so I wanted to get that out of the way.
I'm sharing this as a child of God, a husband, a father, a grandfather, a son, the crazy cool uncle, the big brother, the little brother, the fun cousin, the nephew that made you proud, the friend, a mentor, a collaborator, a Detroiter, a Mustang, a Spartan...the things I hope to be remembered as.
I am absolutely writing this as a Black man...first and foremost. First and foremost because every part of my being is inspired by, driven by, flavored by being a Black man.
I pray that you, your family and your loved ones are healthy and safe. The COVID-19 pandemic has had an unprecedented impact on our everyday lives at every level. If this virus has sickened you or someone you love, I pray for you. I pray for your, and their, healing: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially. If you've lost someone, for any reason during this unparalleled time, my heart is with you. I pray for God's peace and comfort and rest for you. For weeks now I've often thought about what, to me, is the worst and most terrifying symptom of COVID-19: losing the ability to breathe. The most basic, the most critical, the most precious thing to do.
Breathe.
The cruel and inhumane irony of the context provided by the pandemic, that the ability for George Floyd, a Black man, to breathe was illegally, immorally and irrefutably taken in what has been a human tragedy that has happened so often that as a society we're desensitized to it, is not lost on me.
The cruel and inhumane irony of the context provided by the pandemic, that Breonna Taylor, a Black woman, who was an E.M.T. and also an Emergency Room Technician...roles we so desperately need filled right now...was gunned down, needlessly, while she slept getting rest to get back in the fight against a pandemic that has infected over 6.3 million people globally, is not lost on me.
As a Black man who only has Black sons, who only have Black sons...as a Black man married to a Black woman with a Black mother and Black siblings...with a Black daughter-in-law...as a member of a Black family from a predominantly Black community…I am heartbroken, I am furious, I am tense, I am distracted and I am on high alert.
The impact of these most recent events along with the collective pain, outrage and sadness those same events have triggered from past incidents of violence perpetuated against Black people has caused me a range of emotions. It has made daily tasks challenging. I'm doing the very best I can to remain focused on my faith, my family, my work, my students, my staff and my self-care. It's difficult to watch the video of the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis and then go about my normal day. It's hard to see a woman in a park in New York, decide that she would recklessly risk Christian Cooper's life by calling the police and reporting that "an African American man is recording me and threatening me and my dog" because she believed that due to racism the police would respond quickly and in large numbers because the accused was a Black man.
To those of you alarmed by what you see, disturbed by what you read, shocked by the reaction of fellow citizens, of local, state and national leaders, I say "Welcome to the world Black people have lived in for over 400 years in this country." Black people have endured this type of treatment in the United States every single day of our lives. We've been forced to normalize it. Imagine living your lives in both everyday and spectacular ways the whole time knowing that, at any moment, a biased police officer could take your life for no reason. I've been pulled over by law enforcement several times. The last time I was pulled over, it was by an East Lansing police officer who told me that my license plate had expired even though I renewed it a week earlier and the new sticker was visibly on the license plate. My wife, and my two younger sons were in the car with me. Before the officer approached my vehicle, I did what my uncle, who is a retired Michigan State Police trooper instructed me to do: I rolled down every window, I turned the car off, I put the keys on the dashboard, I turned on the interior lights and I asked everyone in the car to put their hands somewhere that the officer could see them. This was in January and, as you can imagine, it was freezing cold. That is how Black people in this country have to respond when engaging law enforcement to give themselves the best chance to get back home. Imagine that being your life. The officer's response upon getting my driver's license, proof of insurance and renewed registration? "Oh, I guess my system hasn't updated yet to reflect that you renewed your license plate." Sunday, unbeknownst to him, my son was riding his bike with a friend in downtown East Lansing as doing so is a way to connect socially while still maintaining social distancing. Shortly after 9 pm, my wife and I received an emergency text message from Ingham County detailing that the cities of Lansing and East Lansing were under curfew at 9 pm. We were terrified that our son was out and he didn't know that he was now in violation of the curfew. Moments like this are excruciating for parents of black children. The five minutes it took between receiving the text message and him arriving home were the longest five minutes of my life.
Malcolm X said, "I believe that there will ultimately be a clash between the oppressed and those that do the oppressing. I believe that there will be a clash between those who want freedom, justice and equality for everyone and those who want to continue the systems of exploitation." I think that is some of what you are seeing played out across our nation today. To be clear: I deplore violence of any kind, by anyone, against anyone. The Good Book teaches us something different. Also, to be clear, this is not solely a problem facing Black people. This is an issue that has, and will continue to infect our country and impact everyone until we make the conscious decision to address it. We must have every person in a position of leadership, in a position of authority, to speak out and condemn the inequities and mistreatment of Black people in this country. I know that every person who is not Black is not a racist…but silence is absolute complicity. And your silence will not protect you from systems of oppression. If you are not willing to address this issue head on, then you are a part of the problem. Tell us and the world you know that what has happened, and is happening, is wrong and criminal. Tell us you recognize that police officers killing Black people, with impunity, amounts to state sponsored terrorism and it has to stop. Show us that you will leverage your authority, your circles of influence and your resources in making lasting change so that the Constitution of the United States will apply to us too. Tell us you see us as human beings, share with us how our existence and participation in the establishment of this nation of free people was critical. Be brave; admit that slavery was real and that the Black community still suffers from its' impact with regards to our wealth, income, employment opportunities, our health care and our ability to educate our children. Challenge your friends and family, on the spot, when they do or say something that is racist or discriminatory.
To students, and young people across the country: it's your turn now. My middle son will turn 18 in a matter of weeks. He and his friends will get to vote for the first time soon. I implore you to harness and channel the same energy you've demonstrated this past week and go vote. In every election. Every time. Be an informed voter. Learn about the candidates and what they stand for and learn about the issues that impact your communities. Don't attach yourself to one political party over another based on dogmatic thinking. Vote YOUR interests. Serve your communities with your specific and unique talents, specializations and strengths. Love your families, current and future. Be whole and present everyday. Invest in your loved ones, let them know they matter. A loved child will always find their way because the love provides them the secure base to do so. We need you to lead this much needed change.
I want to take a moment to thank Dean Leo Kempel, who reached out to me on Saturday, for his leadership and sharing his truth. I want to thank Kyle Foster for being willing to share his raw emotions. Brother, I know how hard that was to do. I want to thank the students and staff who have reached out to me the past couple days to check on me and to check in. Those words we shared and exchanged profoundly impacted me.
In his "Prospects for Freedom" speech on January 7, 1965 in New York City, Malcom X said, "You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom." Those words are so true today. I don't feel at peace. I'm exhausted mentally and emotionally. But I am not tired. And those who know, know the difference. I'm up today. I will work today. I will love on my family and take care of my parents today. I'll reach out to students today. I'll check in with my team today. I'll self-care today. I will not allow this to stop me, prevent me from following my path and meeting my purpose. Today, and everyday, I'll do my level best to accomplish the one task my Creator made as an automatic function of my human body.
Breathe.
Theodore Caldwell, M.Ed.
Assistant Dean
Student Inclusion and Diversity
College of Engineering
Michigan State University